Preparing Yourself...

Overcoming Shyness

Overcoming shyness may seem overwhelming or impossible. But this is not so. It just takes some effort, just like changing any behaviour, but it is very possible- and well worth the effort. Remember, your fears are inevitably much worse than the reality of a situation.

Here Are Some Helpful Tips To Overcome Shyness

•  Work on improving your self-confidence.

•  Understand why you are shy. What are you afraid of?

•  Play-act. In the privacy of your home, act out the way you would like to be- taken to the extreme. For instance, walk around the room puffing out your chest and raising your voice. By going to the extreme, you slough off hidden anxieties, embarrassment and shame.

•  Mimic someone you admire who is not shy. Imitation is a key to learning. Other people's actions can be a guide on how to act the way you would like.

•  Do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Start a project, clean out clutter, or master a musical instrument. Becoming a success is a potent aphrodisiac to turning you-and others-on.

•  Be prepared to be seen or discovered whenever, wherever. Many people don't bother to look their best some days, either out of laziness or thinking that it won't matter. Everyday is showtime.

•  For the "I'm not worthy" routine. Keep your mind on a power track. No matter what happens, you are worthy. You deserve to have and be what you want.

•  Redefine shyness (not as fear, but as enjoying observing situation).

•  Combat your fear of rejection. Expect and accept that everyone at one time or another gets rejected. Rather than taking rejection personally, decide that you and that person just don't "fit" or the timing is off, and move onto something or someone else to distract and engage you.

•  Take risks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Everything in life has an end, so take risks, because you have nothing to lose.

•  Use self-disclosure. Confess to people that you are shy, so they won't misread you. The confession in itself can be endearing and an icebreaker to a conversation. If it scares someone away, that person isn't right for you anyway.

•  "Practice" dating. Nothing feeds success like success. As you gain more pleasurable dating experiences, you can feel more confident and your anxieties ease.

Feeling good about yourself is a key to overcoming shyness. One way to do this is to look your best. You must believe that you are attractive and worth getting to know better.

How you talk and what you talk about can say a lot about your personality- whether you're timid and shy or outgoing and spontaneous. Learn to speak up and say what's on your mind. Practice your most inviting and soothing voice. A voice can emanate sex appeal. Speak deliberately, at a medium pace and volume. Broaden you vocabulary. Jot down a few interesting words from the dictionary each day and make an effort to learn them and incorporate your favourite one into a conversation that day. Read good books to expand your vocabulary which will give you ideas about how to describe things in interesting ways.

Like every else, learning to speak up and speak well takes practice. Make it a point to speak to three new people each day, whether at the supermarket, in a movie line, or in an elevator. Be prepared for different responses, some people may be less than enthusiastic about your approaches.