A New View On Dating...

Attraction and Compatibility

Even if you try to be open-minded about who interests you, you are likely to have some "type" you are attracted to. Mr. or Mrs. Right likely looks a certain way to turn you on. Do you know what that type is? And are you willing to change it, to be open to a wider variety of potential mates? Identify your "love criteria"- the picture of who you are looking for and the qualities which they possess, from the list below.

Notice the qualities you like and don't like. Are those similar qualities you like or dislike in yourself?

Think about those people you date (or have dated) to who you seem inextricably attracted. Whether they were "good" or "bad" experiences, each person served as a lesson. Never have regrets- they were all preparation on your path to love.

Compatibility Test

Compatibility is essential if a relationship is going to work. Ask yourself these questions:

• Do the two of you have similar values? Research shows that shared values are crucial in keeping a relationship together.

• Can you resolve your differences? Every couple has arguments, but can you resolve them, respecting one another's opinions and needs?

• Do you have similar needs for closeness or separateness? If one person wants to be inseparable while the other feels suffocated with too much together-ness, then you're in trouble.

• Do you have similar sex drives and priorities about the importance of sex in your relationship? Sex doesn't have to be on top of the list for every couple, but in most happy relationships, partners have similar feelings about sex and its relative importance.

• Do you share similar lifestyles? Some differences can be worked out, but others can tear couples apart.

If you answered no to any of the above questions then you need to re-evaluate your situation with your partner to ensure you are both happy in the relationship.